Hearing it's all in their heads doesn't stop the way they think. 4. If someone is contemplating suicide, they need support and guidance not guilt. The fact of the matter is that even though there is a lot more knowledge and acceptance regarding mental illness in general, the stigma isn't anywhere nearly erased. No you don't Quizzes. Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed To someone struggling with depression. When you tell someone this, you're telling them to think rationally. "I hear you.". Some people may worry about upsetting us. Addiction. . I had no idea." They ask if they can help. "It sounds like you're really struggling.". Lack of cleanliness is especially prevalent among those with certain mental or emotional disorders, including severe depression, anxiety, PTSD, and psychoses. It can support, comfort, encourage and sometimes even save a life. 6. Resources. People Can Say Cruel Things To Those With Mental Illnesses Without Meaning To Do So. You might abstractly grasp that you have terrific kids, a good job or a supportive spouse—but we can't enjoy it. Please do not take it personally, it has nothing to do with you. (877) 845-5235 100% Confidential It's not always easy knowing the right thing to say when a friend or loved one is suffering with mental illness. Take care of yourself. Don't use: "Mental illness" as an aggregate term Instead, use: "Mental illnesses" or "A mental illness" Mental illness is a broad term. Comments like these may touch a nerve because mental illness isn't caused by weakness; neither is it true that someone who is strong is immune from mental illness.A person with mental illness may feel vulnerable or weak at certain moments, and hearing that they can choose to be stronger or do something different can hurt. "It's OK; everyone gets depressed.". Leave this cliche out of your repertoire. Some people may worry about upsetting us. "It's OK; everyone gets depressed.". We're in a constant battle with our minds. "I'm so sorry you're going through this.". Five things not to say (and what to say instead) "It's all in your head.". "It could be worse." This is true. Depression is a confounding condition, both for those who have it and for their friends and family. Struggling with mental health does not make you less of a Christian or less than a person. What to say and what not to say to someone with a mental health condition. 9 Things Not to Say to Someone With a Mental Illness During the Holidays. 2. Talk to your family member about your concerns, and encourage them to seek support. But this phrase is wrong—bipolar disorder can kill. It's not always easy to know what to say when someone shares their darkest moments or struggles with mental illness, but here are a few examples: "That must be hard for you.". Avoid . They say, "Really? . "Get busy, and distract yourself." "With significant mental illness, [distractions] won't work, not even temporarily," Howes said. The lists below on what and what not to say really apply to almost all types of mental illnesses. Depression and Other Mood Disorders. People with a mental illness are regular people. "I hear you.". . However, the words you use may not convey the message you want to send—especially if you don't understand the nature of depression and mental illness. "I'm so sorry you're going through this.". Most (but, surely, not all) people who say unhelpful or misguided statements about mental health probably don't know better. What not to say to someone with a mental health condition. the informational page for my new e-book about living well with mental illness, Light Gets In. You can help create a healthy environment for someone with mental illness by being informed. . Too many people don't know what to say to us, so they say nothing at all. Sure, people may experience grief or hurt or waves of extreme sadness; in fact, people can even "feel depressed. One said: '''Why are you anxious about that? This deterioration can stem from a general apathy or lack of motivation and disorganization. It won't. If you've seen someone in the grips of the worst kind of Bipolar mania or schizophrenic episode, you'll know a regular run on the beach isn't going to fix it. We also asked what they wish people would say — and their answers shine . Around 19% of the U.S. adult population is affected in any given year. It doesn't reflect what a person is actually dealing with. The truth is this: Not everyone "gets depressed.". 3. Each individual is made in God's Image — each person is fearfully and wonderfully made. Knowing how to talk to someone living with depression can be a great way to support them. Other . Here are just a few examples of what not to say to someone with a mental illness. Listen but respect personal space . Most people don't grow up with an expansive mental health vernacular. It ignores the fact that we're not in control of our conscious mind as much as we'd like to believe, and our body holds memories, including those too painful for our minds to hold. I had no idea." They ask if they can help. 1. Simple answer. Rethink Mental Illness, a UK based charity, said the store's remarks were deeply offensive and insensitive. But a better way to say that might be just that: "Know you're not alone." This implies that some people do experience what we do without saying that everyone does or that it's not that big a problem. Blog. When it comes to mental illness, people say the darnedest things. They say something like, "What do you have to be depressed about?" This post is going to. "Just don't think about sad things!" Easier said than done. Here are a few examples: They give you a hug. - Kristin Get support for yourself and your family. Learn about Mental Health Mental health conditions can be confusing, particularly to bystanders. 1. How you respond to someone can go a long way. Just think like this." But as with. The term mental illness covers a broad range of disorders from mild depression to schizophrenia, but for the purposes of this article, we will define mental illness as a condition that impairs a person's ability to think, feel, process, and respond to life situations in appropriate ways. Or: You can do it! Let's just talk about it in a way that isn't judgmental and doesn't make someone feel even worse - or as if doing all these things would fix any mental health issue. Autism. It's just as important to understand what responses may be unhelpful, or worse — damaging — to someone who opened up to you. And even more people have less severe forms of the emotions we're experiencing. Oh no, its this new foundation I bought yesterday, I am really miserable inside! "I am sorry you are going through this, do you want to talk about it?" Do not assume that I want to talk about it, but rather ask me. Many other people have mental illnesses. In general, mental illness is considered to be a disorder affecting one's mood, thinking, and behavior. For nearly a decade, MindFreedom has done a Google search of the web site for NAMI, the National Alliance on Mental Illness, for their use of the phrase "biologically based" (in quotes). The lists below on what and what not to say really apply to almost all types of mental illnesses. It is as serious as the difference between healing and hurting. That's a whole lotta people being told to 'cheer up' . Click the image below to download a pdf. You don't look mentally ill? Comments like these may touch a nerve because mental illness isn't caused by weakness; neither is it true that someone who is strong is immune from mental illness.A person with mental illness may feel vulnerable or weak at certain moments, and hearing that they can choose to be stronger or do something different can hurt. . "Just do this. Other pieces that relate to support and mental illness: Schizophrenia in India, & the Strength in Belonging; One Life, One Pair of Hands. 7. To help educate friends and family about why their comments are so unhelpful, we asked The Mighty mental health community what they wished people would stop saying to them during the holidays. Mental illness often makes it extremely hard for the person with the disease to take action to . This fear of not knowing what to say or do has resulted in people being afraid to talk about mental health," TEAM founder Mackenzie Drazan said in a statement. At least 25% to 60% of people with bipolar disorder attempt suicide and between 4% and 16% die from suicide. Here are ten things you can say to someone who is suffering from mental illness: 1. Even the rich and famous, such as Nicki Minaj, Miley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, and Lady Gaga, are affected by it. As illustrated above, even medical staff can make incredibly insensitive and downright despicable remarks. What not to say to someone with a mental illness Talking about depression can feel fraught with difficulty but it shows you care. Depression isn't something you can turn on and off at will, and it's a lot more complicated than just being sad. And given that being vulnerable can be uncomfortable for a number of us, when someone you love confides in you, you obviously want to make them feel supported and cared for—not gaslighted. Ultimately, it's important to remember that pain doesn't discriminate, and listening is a powerful tool. The Bible does not specifically refer to the topic of mental health, however, it . After a person slogs through various diversions, they're still. DO: Practice rigorous self-care 2. After centuries of mental health being essentially taboo, it can be extremely difficult to find the words to talk about something as complicated (and from the outside perspective, mysterious) as anxiety. Here are six types of comments people in a health crisis have heard, and what to say instead: 1. I was depressed for a few days once, I know how you feel. But sadness is a feeling and depression is an illness, and these two things are different . She did that because of her mental illness . When someone you know and care about is struggling with depression, anxiety, or another mental health issue, it can be tricky to know what to say. In fact, nobody is less than a person if they have any type of mental illness. For this reason, its vital for people to educate themselves - not only on mental illness itself but also on how to talk to someone suffering from a mental illness. They say, "Really? Yes, it's true that some people go through difficult experiences, learn from them, and come out of them stronger. Here are a few things not to say to someone with a mental illness: "Just stop it." We can't just stop it. The image you have in your head of what a person with a mental illness physically looks like is wrong. Sure, people may experience grief or hurt or waves of extreme sadness; in fact, people can even "feel depressed. Project Yaqeen - What not to say to someone with mental illness What do I do if my sister is mentally ill? If someone you love struggles with mental health challenges, there are many ways you can help. Did you get. No we do not come out of holes looking like Morticia. No, not everyone with PTSD is a veteran. Sharing details of a mental-health struggles with a friend, family member, or significant other is among the most intimate things you can do. "I'm here for you.". OCD . What not to say No, you're stronger than this! Things not to say to someone with a mental illness… a list of our pet peeves, or mine at least, and why. 1. It's not always easy to know what to say when someone shares their darkest moments or struggles with mental illness, but here are a few examples: "That must be hard for you.". And As Their Friend, There Are Some Things You Can Say To Them When They Aren't . Fast, a coach who works with partners and families of people with bipolar disorder, has heard stories of people getting teased at work. They threatened to boycott the store, coining the word, #joycott. Anxiety disorders are one of the most common types of mental illness — and they're on the rise, no thanks to the pandemic. I use distractions to not engage in unhelpful behaviours. If you say that someone has "cardiac issues," it doesn't really offer much information. People are doing their best to get through each day. What NOT to say to someone with a mental health issue: People reveal the least helpful advice they've ever received - from 'you'll be fine' to 'cheer up' Learn about mental illness and addiction. This act comes from desperation. "It sounds like you're really struggling.". 1. Best and Worst Things to Say to Someone Who is Depressed But there is a point when distraction becomes avoidance. Bringing up God or faith: When Michelle Pierce's daughter, Ali, was diagnosed with stomach cancer . ️ #mentalhealth #mentalhealthpakistan #mentalhealthsupport. If I feel like I need to talk about it, I will. They say something like, "What do you have to be depressed about?" This post is going to address some of the things you really don't want to say to someone who has depression, anxiety, or any mental illness. Types . Anxiety. Find the words to help a loved one this R U OK? Not many people, especially their customers challenged with mental illness/bipolar, found the store's remarks humorous. It's a cry for help not attention seeking. Facts. For every single human being alive right now. Do not pressure me. It can also be appropriate to say "mental health condition," since many people who deal with mental health concerns may not have a formal diagnosis or a full-fledged illness. It makes them feel safer, heard, and seen. Don't be rude or unsupportive.Instead, be tolerant and listen to what they are saying. "Let's go somewhere quiet or take a walk" In times of extreme anxiety, it can help to try a grounding activity, like going for a walk or finding a peaceful place to talk. Here are a few examples: They give you a hug. But sadness is a feeling and depression is an illness, and these two things are different . Don't use: "Mental illness" as an aggregate term Instead, use: "Mental illnesses" or "A mental illness" Mental illness is a broad term. Eating Disorders. Someone with a mental disorder may see it as the only solution to end the excruciating pain and suffering they have been endearing. The important take-away from these lists is to be sensitive to what others are experiencing and how your words might impact them. Saying the right thing to someone struggling with mental illness can be incredibly powerful. "Like yeah, I'm aware, but it's not a cure for my mental health disorder." — Amy W. That said, even if your intentions are to convey support, you . Think about this logically: if it were that easy, don't you think we would have already stopped it? Too many people don't know what to say to us, so they say nothing at all. Grounding activities can be done alone or with another person and may include listening to music or enjoying a soothing scent. As someone who deals with depression, anxiety and obsessive compulsive disorder, Rachel Griffin is all too familiar with these insensitive interactions. Chances are you know someone who has clinical levels of anxiety. For some people the basic tasks of day to day life are too much. Or: You can do it! Here are some things never to say to someone who's hurting—and advice on a sensitive rephrase. Trauma. Someone's mental illness doesn't have to be apparent to you to be valid. The New York University graduate student made a video about all of the ridiculous things she's heard from other people about mental illness. 7 Things You Should Never Say to Someone With PTSD. Even neutral words can be misconstrued by someone who is feeling vulnerable, PsychCentral notes. Major depression is one of the most common mental health disorders in the world, so it's likely someone you know or love has been affected. What NOT to say to someone with a mental health issue: People reveal the least helpful advice they've ever received - from 'you'll be fine' to 'cheer up' Here are suggestions of what you can do when you encounter someone who's struggling with mental illness: Stay calm and be patient. Support other family members. "I'm really sorry you're going through this. Feel free to share them with others. Saying the right thing to someone struggling with mental illness can be incredibly powerful. What not to say No, you're stronger than this! With that in mind, here's what to say and how to help someone with anxiety. Others think teasing is okay. While reaching out to someone with depression can't cure them, social support can remind them they're not alone. The problem is finding the words. Many people who're actively psychotic find others threatening, which can lead to agitation, and being calm and kind can go a long way to temper hostility and create an alliance. The truth is this: Not everyone "gets depressed.". . Even if you have the best of intentions, sometimes its hard to know what to say to a person with depression. Videos. Stop attention seeking . Emotional Dysregulation. People Who Suffer From Mental Health Issues Aren't Looking To Be Understood, But They Could Use Some Compassion. "Art allows us to break through . A mental health crisis does not define who someone is, but rather, it's a temporary period of time which they can endure with the support of those around them. If they are being dangerous or inappropriate, do call for . . 10 things you should not say to someone with a mental illness… 1. Often, you won't be able to tell who has a mental illness and who doesn't. So, it's important to learn the correct terminology and what can be offensive. Feel free to share them with others. To someone struggling with depression. But when you're sick, it really just doesn't matter. 5. General Mental Health. Not everything someone does is a result of their mental illness. 1. Mental illness is related to chemical imbalances, neurological issues, family history or even traumatic experiences. #2 Don't say: "You should try harder to get better." Having a mental illness does not mean that your lazy or that you lack discipline or perseverance. Because stigma does exist and because without communication, we cannot hope for change. It can support, comfort, encourage and sometimes even save a life. Podcasts. But then I realized that the way to diminish the stigma surrounding mental illness was to talk about it, openly and honestly, so that outsiders could begin to really understand it. Think before you speak. One user tweeted: '''The weather is SO bipolar right now!'' - my chronic mental illness is not an adjective for you to describe the weather.' Many recalled being annoyed by people who doubt the reality of their mental health problems, because their lives appear 'fine' to an outsider looking in. Conditions . But then I realized that the way to diminish the stigma surrounding mental illness was to talk about it, openly and honestly, so that outsiders could begin to really understand it. Here are 10 examples of things you should not say to someone struggling with a mental health condition: 1. If you say that someone has "cardiac issues," it doesn't really offer much information. I've also updated (and added a little video to!) The problem is finding the words. Mental illness can cause a person to be unable or unaware of the importance of personal hygiene. People battling mental illness are constantly receiving unsolicited advice and being told things "aren't that bad." By simply acknowledging what he's going through (and not saying you've gone through the same experience), he feels better. So honored by the feedback I've received thus far. So, don't be afraid to be inquisitive. PEOPLE SAY THE DARNDEST THINGS It's important to remember that depression is a medical condition that requires treatment, be it with medication, therapy, or both. "But you have so much to be grateful for!" We know! One indication that the "medical model" approach is holding on is a simple and informal test. "Do What I Did." For those of us who have had our own mental and emotional struggles, it's tempting to tell the person to do what we found helpful. "I'm here for you.". Don't you think… The important take-away from these lists is to be sensitive to what others are experiencing and how your words might impact them. No one is perfect, but what you say matters. It doesn't reflect what a person is actually dealing with. You're acting crazy Read full article. So here's a list of what not to say to someone experiencing mental health issues; 1." But you have a great life and always seem so happy." Depression, like death, is not selective of its victims. - Peace Even if it is all in your mind, that's blaming and disabling rather than supportive. 5. "Get busy, and distract yourself." I think: Distractions do have a purpose in mental health recovery. This list is not inclusive of all the irritating phrases, questions and statements I have heard, it is a taste of what irritates me and others I have . For this reason, it's crucial to educate yourself about what things to say or not say. What not to say to someone with schizophrenia. As the saying goes, "Just because I carry it well, that doesn't mean it's not heavy." "According to who? Bipolar disorder is a serious mental illness. So here is an inside look into what someone with a mental illness actually hears when these comments are made-1. News flash: sometimes people with mental illness think and behave in illogical ways. 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